They didn’t know myself

 ( a story of one mentally ill )              

 Yes I had analysed a little society yes I was just young learning from books and life 

No I didn’t have evil agenda yes I liked to have somebody to love 

Yes it hurts somebody you love dies yes it makes you stronger and sad and life shows it’s joy and it’s not so there anyway yes I was filled with madnes of joy and balance yes I wanted muscle as old I had visioned to live middle class wisdom until old but maybe as poor from how people were 

Yes I was sane out side together forever with myself not to follow the herd but be like them I had my tier abilities and emotions lots of insanity and sexual interests with a good ones 

Yes i ment only to stay love cabable hiding from world 

Yes I my complex I wanted twenty million and be known to others from my abilities my self investments were not so much I lived in real and valued real and had my illusions on in Mixed up psyche of ugly self and creating something like my looks my politics were small and my world filled with dreams and insanity 

I had hardly religion all confused my self I went insane from word spirituality and could not take a word 

My real friend didn’t betray and wasn’t there I was maybe with a ghost 

I thought I have babies didn’t fit to my self salvated world view somebody would even take me from an object even I maybe often gave such to flirt and offer visibility of any kind 

Things were unclear and it wasn’t nice self care and chacras even my broken psyche has power to stand my chacras  

My self interested nobody even I was some war for even bigger interests in life than our selfs and our selfs 

Things got so small nobody can stay sane I invented something for myself I longed after connection after sex after value freedom of mind knowledge somebody who is a true coward not to betray even of course 

All got wasted even I was red anger against waste in human race why would any adult anymore be there for anything but new bathroom and tolerable jobs I didn’t get a job that would have taken a fix a family a knowledge of myself others .  I was in side non ok reality of non ok social insanity between real and unreal 

Non should leave people such way to their madnes somebody should know by now to hate such crimes done by some people it’s not some my opinion 

Humanity love care value all gets wasted and I truly enjoyed a lip stick all my life  

There was no husband no ec boy friends to friendly I found nice hammer in poverty to watch Indian cinema and we didn’t connect on deeper level I could have have babies and live such way but there wasn’t any such husband for my kind I wasn’t anymore real but false behaviour and I cared of underwear  all life all love all self all corrupted maybe I can’t ever lose it I was just the good guys and there was not other good guys like myself many murders many victims rhe horrror of life for a child is a nightmare cause all real is between our self and our selfs ! Happy nightmare it’s still happening children killing people in envy and betray and lack of praying god and lack of presence of god commands anybody to anything sane 

I don’t blame it on my insanity or egotism that always isolates my self to myself but on the sun explosions maybe drive us insane and we want to explode our selfs !