No I can’t no satisfaction

 Life is boring and so am I . In constant guilt going to illusions of self and things and sounding own heart and soul and not being perfect sometimes . Slipping then totally out from guilt of self incorrect to total incorrect of self away from real humanity into more matured living of evil which is in some school illusion   , brakes a being , but whats new of life with others who dont value to do their Jobs live from all home and in sime cars smile as non sinner for others ways. Growing into the society woth other people is not anymore human guilt living of heart felt living but something analysed as unhuman insane in the Brain snd distespect but own ways snd own politics and hunting others petsonal area as sone object of others self. It’s far away from sinner human guilt as sinner being totally evil one to others. Humanity try total ok to others that are not any threat to self that is living on Its on but msybe cant get no satisfaction in making a honest dinner so that Its fine in fair trade being seriously rare trade and sivut also corrupted even ofcoyrse . No we dont stay as human guilt being with our self as perfect and unperfect   , we step into forms of identity control and self control and our life control . Satisfaction to boredom being maybe anti betray program from others on the brain side and heart felt interest there is your self not just them self and what comes to sexuality anybody can such handle by them self   Sure it’s voluntary fun , but satisfaction of living is not so contentment without emotional journey and own dinner and mental enjoyments with others not into betray if at least some others . Hermits ways are just fine with own sexual privacy , own emotions of living   TApping into inheritance of Brain enjoyments and Jobs that suited our self if we have to be some only human in the cosmic existance …