It’s my life introduced

 My childhood happened in suburban environment where was some. Nature also. My parents were from Tampere and my family had roots in the country side from my grandparents childhoods. My grandfather run a store in Tampere and was very respected conservatism. My parents were some kind of left activism. My father is from university and worked for living at Helsinki. We had ok home with enough food but I don’t remember if we were also poor sometimes. I had enough everything my room and sister and brother. I played with my best friends home a lot and we made songs and had fun. We traveller also in scandinavia , and also visited beach vacations. I was some happy child and a good kind child , we had some ideology also to use honey not sugar and i did eat meat. I liked to do sports and music and i was always drawing also. I was sometype of painter child. In teens i become Angry liked punk hated outer beauty and developped some mu own ideology. I tryed something in orthorexia but failed and learned Its not Healthy not to eat any fat. I went lot to nature and listened to music and i was sad. I liked life even i was tiny little bit teenage suicide. I wanted to have a Job that i would like in life and read Books and went to gigs and fanned bands. I had been also into ice hockey but changed to be into movies. I wanted to direct a cinema and went in my self to allow unrealism and dreams and knew it Its not so ok to myself and must stay real and see what i can actually do. I got a friend when i was seventeen to go to nature talk party go to gigs and read Books make food and so on. My inner life grew into my guide in teens and i become quite strong. I was into Books poems movies music nature photography vegetarian food and social life at Café and bars. I had bigger thoughts about the society and life than what others offered as communication , i was a deep female who liked some love also maybe people didnt so much use me. I liked to dance drive bikes and being environment conscious. I got into art school and met interesting people and friends and it was expected i make my individualism clear to others of my philosophy and i was just a Mess from the current society politics and people were not my friends if i were not clear. My clarity were missing . I by the. Knew I can’t direct cinema photography was enough but the depths of it was somewhat missing to my awareness . I visited paris , i had travelled some , holland , london but i was not those who travel all the time. I just was cabable to some kind of green life style and values and art. What it had to do with anybody else was ofcourse rejected powers.  No people didnt wanna know me personally and i lost friends. I run into it i better work for my money by now but there wasnt to me work and understanding. I got sick in the head from mold and everything . What it is in anything was maybe deeply lost with others not with myself but practically things were found and the handling life self and people and grow from things was also interesting in that my experience of having a life . People somehow can be so judgemental and demanding that the hearts get ill. I just lived on having some defending my right to live and like life. I met ok people and run into spiritual ancles of self in a bad stupid way in a spiritual war to call it here private life. I lived in the countryside and used musical methods as almost hermit life style to have some uncontenment from lack of social life.  Music , nature , movies , foods and animals made my day. It’s true it’s through inner that life matter and it’s through outer that life is lived actually. My life hunger got somewhat abused and got so seriously gamed that I lost friends for mylife. I keep on believing into music dreams green nature health and goodnes and perfection. Of life and love.  The medical situation to force medicine is a pharma war and my life salvation run into pharma war.